The lights have been turned on and the floor is covered in sick, patches of sticky liquids and semi-molested booth babes.  The end of the night has arrived for E3 and the bouncers are gathering ominously around the edge of the dance floor.

There was no big surprise announcement by SEGA, it’s because they’re hibernating.  A sleeping giant if you will.  Mark our words, next year is going to be big, we won’t be here but just remember those words.


NOTUKRESISTANCE E3 2011 AWARDS

There’s no trophy, just some text and a picture that’ll be wiped off the face of the Earth come doomsday.

BEST BOOTH BABE: Blue Jumpsuit Woman from End Of Nations

Getting on a bit in years but “Blue Jumpsuit Woman” enchanted us with her stare and skin tight midnight blue jumpsuit.  Our souls will never leave you “Blue Jumpsuit Woman”, ever. We leave something behind in E3, not saying what though.  Younger girls can only DREAM of being like her.

WORST PRESENTATION: Sony

Presenting  your next console then reporting that it will lose money for 3 years just means you’re “market share” mad and that makes you evil and hateful.

BEST RAVING LUNATICS: Sonic “heads” at Sonic Boom

Where were the people wearing Mario heads?  Exactly, it doesn’t happen.  You look foolish with a Mario head on and everyone knows that.

BEST GAME: SEGA Rally Online Arcade

Sorry we stopped watching after a while, were there any better games?  Please tell us we missed something.  We’ve been playing a lot of SEGA Rally Online Arcade at the moment so probably a bit biased.

WORST GAME: Battlefield 3

Men shouting “ROGER” at each other typifies the slide into hell that video games have been on.  If you enjoy stuff like that then join the army and do it for real.

** FINAL BOOTH BABE UPDATE **

The best until last and it’s from our old friend Joits, it’s the G4 E3 Booth Babe Winner of 2011 Vi Pham!

The one on the far right.

10/10 mostly due to the crotch-tight outfits.

** THE END **

If you’ve been reading then thanks.  We’re shuffling off home now, the last few days have been quite exciting.  Not the content mind, but rather a sense of “responsibility” that seemed to hang in the air and give life some meaning.

10 Updates, 2,399 words and 41 pictures.  The contractor girls have been let go, there will be no leaving do.  Not for people who are only here a week.

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3 Responses to “THE E3 ROUND UP AND BEST-IN-SHOW AWARDS UPDATE”

  1. Your dedication will stand as an example to us all. We Salute You.

  2. And yes, I agree those crotch-tight outfits are outstanding. Although the faces on girls 1 & 2 aren’t very realistic if you stare at them for too long.

  3. Nick Park would have a field day posing those plastic figures

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