So there’s a new Tomb Raider game coming out at some point and apparently it’s all “gritty” whatever that means.  What is certain though is we can’t very well have any of those old leathery hags that used to play Lara Croft hanging around.  This calls for fresh meat.

Tomb Raider wasn’t about you PROTECTING Lara, it was about you wanting to PENETRATE Lara, maybe the occasional fantasy about her saying no, then you trying it on and her saying no again but then you doing it anyway.  Then she cries but thanks you in a quiet voice.

Then you start crying and saying you’re sorry, it all got out of hand far too quickly.  All you really wanted to do was sit down and have a nice game of Tomb Raider on the Saturn and some biscuits.

This is Camilla Luddington, the new Lara croft.  Very much would, will have to start collating any high resolution images from the internet because she deserves so much more than 3 small JPGs.

9.5/10

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8 Responses to “THE RATING OF THE NEW LARA CROFT”

  1. Much nicer than the old Lara. Her boobs aren’t as pointy. And looks slightly smaller. Would fit in suitcase, one way or another.

  2. would raid her tomb any time :)

  3. Much worse than the old Lara. She looks like the kind that has the full collection of Friends on DVD, and likes to sit down with a glass of white wine. Anyhow, pants that have a high % of sneaking up the bumcrack are no good for adventures and fighting enemies.

  4. I expect something funny has happened. Perhaps Angelina Jolie has just slipped over in the paddling pool of green jelly that they will both soon be wrestling in. For some reason, she’s in her pants too.

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