From across the pond far away comes news of a covert SEGA marketing campaign for Dreamcast2.  They’re so clever those marketing people at SEGA and not at all thick and stupid!  You don’t fool us, a hardware press conference is imminent plus launch line-up.

“Hello again, NUKR. I have more swirls from the States.”

“This was from a mini golf course in the New Roc City complex in New Rochelle, NY. I apologize for the picture quality, but it was one of those ‘glow-in-the-dark’ courses, and my phone has a really shitty camera.  These aren’t swirls, but I was at a go-kart track later on, and I saw a few arcade units they left nearby to distract the kids for long enough to keep them from trying to jump over the barrier. Needless to say, they were pretty worn looking.”

“This is Outrunners. The lights behind Player 2’s ‘Checkpoint’ sign have gone out. I didn’t get a chance to play it to see if the controls worked.”

“And this is Cruis’n USA. This one was kind of neat because I had never seen the deluxe version in person before.”

“Unfortunately, the screen was really messed up. It was doing that weird thing that happens when the contrast on a CRT screen is way too high, and the colours stretch across it and make it difficult to see what’s happening. I didn’t get to play this one either, but I did see a father and daughter play it later on, and it seemed to work fine for them.  Keep fighting the good fight. Cheers.

– CaptFlushing (Zachary)”

You’d take blurry pictures too if you were also masturbating.

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