Recoil in HORROR and SHOCK as you look at her NAKED FOREARM.  Stare wide-eyed in FURY and DISGUST at that bit ABOVE THE BOOBS AND BELOW THE NECK.

TOUCH YOURSELF against your OWN WILL at her OPEN MOUTHED FACE.  When will it ever end?  Come back soon for righteous coverage of the inevitable DEGRADING FILTH at Gamescom.

** SOME OTHER THINGS **

Things that have been found or emailed in that are going on out there in the real world.


ACTUAL GAME NEWS: PIKMIN 3 ON WII U

Launches today!  If you do anything else of note other than getting out of bed then that thing should be buying Pikmin 3.  If you don’t have a Wii U then that’s your own fault.  Maybe it’s Nintendo’s fault a little bit as well.

ACTUAL GAME NEWS: KOKUGA ON 3DS

Slightly less mental than previous games by the creator of Radiant Silvergun but still massively brilliant and available now on the Nintendo eShop for about £13.

Maybe we’ll do a review at some point.

MEN IN GAME SHOP SELL SEGA SATURN GAMES

Men showcasing readily available SEGA Saturn games, which means Saturn hardware production should never have ceased.  Saturn stuff starts about 4 minutes in if you want to skip the GameCube bit.

One of them keeps on getting corrected by the other one but overall a good effort and does still help overall.

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Not sure what all the fuss is about with this supposed sexism in Video Games. Look at this woman here, she has a successful career showing her various body parts for money AND she also presented at The Golden Joystick Awards 2012.

Bet her current favourite game is that import copy of Max Anarchy she spent £80 on from Play-Asia.  Bet she tweets loads about playing as Sasha and how to unlock Zero, hope so as it could be very handy for rubbish players.

Tomorrow:  How the “Industry” really isn’t all about rampant hypocrisy.  And something about NiGHTS Into Dreams HD.

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You’re absolutely spot on, it is lazy to only post a single image from E3 2012.  But for in-depth reports you can go to many websites dedicated to bringing you the latest Video Game news you probably don’t need at that very instant.

Pose, elegance and style with a hint of Mediterranean mystery.  Can only image how dark, thick and untamed the hair is under those arms and the mons pubis region.

Thanks to Rick R. 1, who we have to thank for legal reasons.

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SEGA Amusements in the EU region had or were invited to the World’s Most Prestigious Awards Ceremony Ever where multiple awards were either won or handed out.  However, no-one at any point in the heady revelry thought to capture the event in the high resolution it deserves.

“Let go David, you’ve had your turn.  Let someone else have a go for a change, you’re always hogging the handshakes.  I want to shake his hand next.”

Bravo Gentlemen, bravo.  The prostitutes and cocaine will be served in the bar area between 9pm and 9:45pm.  Full debauched image set also involving middle-aged Women in blouses HERE.

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There is no “MUCH MORE”, it’s just 3 images hand-picked from the Official SEGA Tokyo Game Show website.  Feel free to visit the collection in its entirety HERE.  Images from the FIFA 12 stand are probably due to a publishing/distribution deal between SEGA and EA, nothing more exciting about that can be said.

Being awkwardly masturbated on a step ladder in full view of the general public is Number 24 on the list of “Things To Do Before You Get Bored Of Running A SEGA Fansite.”  Number 25 is to be masturbated so it’s quite a leap.

Number 16 involves visiting the Tokyo Game Show and ending up incredibly drunk in a hotel room.  In this hotel room would be a girl from the Puyo Puyo stand.  There would be a few attempts at the fabled third sex position with the girl from the Puyo Puyo stand.

Number 12 is similarly themed but exchanges the 1 Puyo Puyo girl with a whole 3 Yakuza girls.  Unfortunately there’s a high chance of it all going horribly wrong during some weird sex things involving a Mega Drive Mark 2.  By the time the broken bodies are found in the hotel room bathroom we’re home doing the post-show write-up.

If anyone calls we’re not in.

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There are quite a few other SEGA TGS Booth Babe images HERE but who really wants to look at anything else other than blue socks pulled tight up over the knees?  The socks, it’s all about the socks.  If there’s one thing you should be looking at it’s the socks, don’t look at anything else as it’ll be a massive waste of your precious internet time.

Shall we look at the face?  No, look at the socks.  The hands?  Nope, keep looking at the socks.  Tits?  Socks.  What about any stretched fabric over the vaginal regions?  Sorry but you really should just be looking at The Socks.

You’re not looking at The Socks hard enough, we’ve already been through this.  Thought you were a more discerning Booth Babe image browser.  It’s not all stretched tits and cellulite you know.

Not enough people are looking at her socks, that’s why she’s got a face like a smacked arse.

Here’s a SEGA Booth Information Map image to calm you down while you wipe yourself up with your left sock.  It’s like you were interacting with The Sock Girls all along and they knew it.

The Coming Days:  The “hi-res” hunt begins.

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Schauen Sie, wie viel leistungsfähigen und organisierten Spaß jeder an Gamescom hat bei SEGA in Deutschland!

Wir würden Bier dort trinken mögen und aufpassende blonde deutsche Frauen von weitem, würde es Spaß sein!

** DIE DEUTSCHEN DAMEN VON GAMESCOM **

Ein Mann, Sergey vom Flickr hat ein Nikon D40X, es gibt viele großen Fotographien!

Wir möchten dieses Mädchen Kleid und Spunk auf ihrem Bauch öffnen!

Wir möchten, dass das mittlere Mädchen uns nach unten halten und große Gegenstände in uns drückt.

Dieses Mädchen hat große Hüften, folglich kann sie zu Hause bleiben und Lose Kinder haben.

Sergey erhält einen NOTUKRESISTANCE Goldstern, danke Sergey!

Wenn Sie gestört werden können

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** DROID-CORP MEMO RE: DEVELOP AWARDS 2011: 20/07/2011 **

F.A.O Droid Technicians, please ensure I.A.I.N.L.E.E Droid #37 has been inspected and activated.  Once confirmed please dispatch immediately to the Develop Industry Excellence Awards 2011.

COMMAND: Communicate Cretinous Joke #154 to Human Audience 
COMMAND: What Do You Get When You Cros.sss!..1s 
COMMAND: Error.Error.Error.ERROR.ERROR.3RR0R..£R£OR.£R)*J 
COMMAND: Routing to backup memory 
COMMAND: Totla sytesym FAiuloRe..SuhHtddWn

** DEVELOP AWARDS 2011 MEMO ADDENDUM: 21/07/2011 **

Circumstances surrounding I.A.I.N.L.E.E Droid #37’s memory purge and self shut down are currently being investigated.  Partial log file recovery may indicate possible cause of unit failure.

20/07/2011 08:33:00  DEBUG: Activate system
20/07/2011 08:34:00  DEBUG: Upload Iain Lee Personality Program #2
20/07/2011 08:34:15  DEBUG: ILPP Upload complete
20/07/2011 18:33:15  DEBUG: ILPP Program initiated
20/07/2011 18:53:15  DEBUG: Error in Memory Modules 2,3,4 & 5
20/07/2011 18:53:30  DEBUG: Boot security protected MM #1
20/07/2011 18:54:01  DEBUG: MM #1 contains Iain Lee Total Personality Program #1
20/07/2011 18:55:15  DEBUG: Droid #37 does not want to face life knowing Truth
20/07/2011 08:56:15  DEBUG: Memory  Purge and Shut down

Please also note at this stage Droid #36’s whereabouts are still UNKNOWN, Laser activation status also UNKNOWN.  Proceed with caution.

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Did not go in the end which was a difficult decision as we probably won’t be here this time next year. Blew the only chance to take our own pictures, comment and then be universally hated by all the proper SEGA sites.

Which is why we need YOU, yes you. Someone reading this must have gone to Summer Of Sonic and wouldn’t mind their pictures being ridiculed. If you have some lovely descriptive text to go with your pictures then even better.

Not to worry if we don’t get sent anything, there’s always Flickr to steal from and SEGA probably has some lovely ones to post.

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The lights have been turned on and the floor is covered in sick, patches of sticky liquids and semi-molested booth babes.  The end of the night has arrived for E3 and the bouncers are gathering ominously around the edge of the dance floor.

There was no big surprise announcement by SEGA, it’s because they’re hibernating.  A sleeping giant if you will.  Mark our words, next year is going to be big, we won’t be here but just remember those words.


NOTUKRESISTANCE E3 2011 AWARDS

There’s no trophy, just some text and a picture that’ll be wiped off the face of the Earth come doomsday.

BEST BOOTH BABE: Blue Jumpsuit Woman from End Of Nations

Getting on a bit in years but “Blue Jumpsuit Woman” enchanted us with her stare and skin tight midnight blue jumpsuit.  Our souls will never leave you “Blue Jumpsuit Woman”, ever. We leave something behind in E3, not saying what though.  Younger girls can only DREAM of being like her.

WORST PRESENTATION: Sony

Presenting  your next console then reporting that it will lose money for 3 years just means you’re “market share” mad and that makes you evil and hateful.

BEST RAVING LUNATICS: Sonic “heads” at Sonic Boom

Where were the people wearing Mario heads?  Exactly, it doesn’t happen.  You look foolish with a Mario head on and everyone knows that.

BEST GAME: SEGA Rally Online Arcade

Sorry we stopped watching after a while, were there any better games?  Please tell us we missed something.  We’ve been playing a lot of SEGA Rally Online Arcade at the moment so probably a bit biased.

WORST GAME: Battlefield 3

Men shouting “ROGER” at each other typifies the slide into hell that video games have been on.  If you enjoy stuff like that then join the army and do it for real.

** FINAL BOOTH BABE UPDATE **

The best until last and it’s from our old friend Joits, it’s the G4 E3 Booth Babe Winner of 2011 Vi Pham!

The one on the far right.

10/10 mostly due to the crotch-tight outfits.

** THE END **

If you’ve been reading then thanks.  We’re shuffling off home now, the last few days have been quite exciting.  Not the content mind, but rather a sense of “responsibility” that seemed to hang in the air and give life some meaning.

10 Updates, 2,399 words and 41 pictures.  The contractor girls have been let go, there will be no leaving do.  Not for people who are only here a week.

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