But it’s not like we’re that interested in keeping up to date, you only have to look at the recent eBay search history to know that.

“Dear notukresistance,

You may rember me from my last email about the Sonic pod toys, it is me the KING OF OLDBURY we an interesting photo I will leave you to devour yourself.

As always, thanks for creating the website and the update. I enjoy the humour and love reading your posts.

Yours

KING OF OLDBURY

“P.S I found the image before this foolish website so don’t worry about stealing their ideas.”

There is no humour here.

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Also, trying to look up Japanese girls’ skirts in merchandising images . Haven’t done that for a while, it’s probably illegal to ponder too long on their wanton sexualised thighs now.

“No Mum, I’m not spending all of my student loan on SEGA things. I HATE YOU. YOU NEED TO SEND ME MONEY SO I’LL STOP HATING YOU. I HATE YOU.”

A SEGA Facebook page to “like” is HERE, with no mention on the backpack specifications. Litre size, pocket numbers, rain proofing TBA.

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You don’t have to answer, it’s not a quiz because the bag dimensions are represented without any accompanying measurement reference so you’d only be guessing.  Insert Coin Tees & NOTUKR relationship status updated to “cordial.”

ONE MORE IMAGE OF THE FEMALE HERE (WITHOUT HEAD).  Plus details of the bag should you wish to invest £35 in the undoubted circus of attention you’ll generate with one of these swinging on your effeminate shoulder.  Don’t hold it under you arm either, we can see you.

Regarding the Female: Few moles on the face but she’s wearing a Dr Robotnik t-shirt and has well defined eyebrows so overall gets 7/10.

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Upon Internet investigation it turns out this Nights Into Dreams LCD game was released in 1997 and has been extensively reviewed by every existing SEGA blog.  Yesterday Lara Croft panties, today this.  Tuesday is obviously going to be a really shit day.

The eBay auction ended a while ago, sorry about that.  Also noted is the classic camera flash error when taking photographs of things in plastic so 2/10 overall.

Sent in by GigerPunk, who might still visit every so often.

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THIS SHIT is how to start a bleak Tuesday after a rainy Bank Holiday.  These pictures are the result of a deal between NOTUKR and rock band The Waxing Captors.  “Put our music video on your site and I’ll give you Sonic Shoes pictures” they said.  Less of a deal, more like a strange Man promising puppies to a small child.

“Please find attached shoes – Note that by ‘found some Sonic shoes in Vietnam’ I meant ‘Had some Sonic shoes tailor made in Vietnam, went to the trouble of drawing my own design instead of visiting some museum with the girlfriend,

 

repeatedly went back to check on progress of said shoes instead of absorbing culture, had a mild disagreement with the tired, overworked staff about the quality of knuckles and had them re-stitch but am now happy with the finished product’.”

“There’s also a shot of a communist billboard, for scene setting purposes.”

“Yes, I did have my name sewn into them in SEGAesque font.  Go East people, you can still live it up like a colonial land baron.  All the best, James.  The Waxing Captors”

“Mild disagreement”?   Which perhaps resulted in CIGARETTE BURNS ON ARMS AND FACES?!  Still, if you’re not going to get the stitching right then you should expect some retribution and a sore eye for a few weeks.  Westerners are sticklers for a job well done.

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These “Sonic Polka Dot Cheeky” Ladies Pants currently on sale in Topshop look like they’ll give any Female wearer total confidence.  Confidence needed to overcome various daily obstacles that would otherwise be insurmountable with an inferior brand of undergarment.

It’s nice to see a lovely cut to Ladies Pants these days, there are no see-through areas or anything too complicated to think about.  This morning will start with a full minute tracing the leg lines, then roughly 30 seconds on Sonic’s face before finishing off on the crotch area.

Maybe later on in the afternoon we’ll think of something nice to do with the “bottom” picture while the kettle boils.

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“THAT NEW COFFEE IS NICE WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM SINCE WE HAVEN’T HAD A VIDEO GAMES NIGHT IN AGES CAN YOU GET THE MEGA DRIVE OUT OF THE GARAGE AND SEE IF IT WORKS WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND THE RF CABLE IT WAS THERE THE LAST TIME WELL LOOK FOR IT THEN HAVE YOU TRIED THE BOX WITH THE MASTER SYSTEM IN IT IT’S NEXT TO THE BROKEN SATURN WITH ALL THE CONTROL PADS YOU FOUND IT THAT’S GOOD BUT I THINK THE END OF THE POWER ADAPTER PERISHED AGES AGO…

…BUT IF YOU LOOK ON THE BOTTOM SHELF THERE’S A SPARE GAME GEAR ADAPTER THAT’LL WORK JUST FINE HAVE YOU PUT ANY MORE OF THAT 9-BIT MEGA COFFEE AVAILABLE FROM FIREBOX.COM ON I SAID ONE MORE CUP BECAUSE I WANT TO PLAY MICKEY MOUSE CASTLE OF ILLUSION FOR A BIT AND THEN MAYBE ESWAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE LEVEL SELECT CODE FOR SONIC IS AGAIN WHERE IS THAT CUP OF 9-BIT MEGA COFFEE I SAID I WANTED ANOTHER CUP OF THAT COFFEE EMAIL SENT IN BY GIGERPUNK WHO GIGERPUNK GIGERPUNK IF YOU SAY IT ENOUGH TIMES IT STARTS TO SOUND STRANGE I SAID NO MILK WHEN DO I EVER HAVE MILK I ONLY HAD MILK ONCE IN 1993 I DIDN’T LIKE IT”

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C’est manifique!  Which is probably French for “Fuck me!  This magnificent collection of seven photographs sent in from France at a horizontal and vertical resolution of 180 dpi are great!”  Reader Masque de mort probably broke all sorts of cross-border regulations in sending these in, but in times of war and conflict help must come from all nations.

“Hi everyone, biggest notukresistance French fan ever here (formerly known as “biggest ukresistance French fan ever”),”

“I thought I had to share these powerful metaphors with like-minded people like you. Short story : sales season, videogames store, unwanted toys, very low price.”

“Miss Masque de mort wasn’t as happy with my findings, with reactions like (I quote) “What, another one of these pieces of crap ?”. But anyway, she hasn’t entered the GameRoom for years now -she could not possibly understand.”


“I hope you find these meaningful photographs, full of hidden messages about the career evolution of a certain once-beloved mascot, useful to your great blog.”

“Yours faithfully, Masque de mort. Soldier for Sega since 1987”

Whichever regional territory Game is in, it can always be counted on to discount the wrong Video Game thing.  Having the descriptive words back to front doesn’t really help much either.

The greatest photograph of all time.  Better than 1,543 photographs of various OutRun2/OutRun2 SP arcade cabinets in full working order.  Even better than all the Tara Long photographs put together into one large masturbatory collage.  Masque de mort is awarded 3 pallets of A4 paper covered with those NOTUKR Reader Submission Reward Gold Ring sticker things we can’t get rid of.

Coming Soon:  That picture above in a variety of downloadable desktop background sizes.

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Someone in the immediate family knows about the whole Sonic The Hedgehog/SEGA liking thing, they must know.  It’s the only plausible explanation for receiving a 5″ Sonic The Hedgehog official “collectable” from the Sonic Merchandise shop as a Christmas present.

At first Sonic was placed into this stance for roughly 3 days.  Wasn’t entirely happy with this default positioning but these things can’t be rushed, especially with such a large array of joints to move about.

“He” is now currently in this position, it could have been any position but this is the most pleasing at the moment.

Coming soon:  More 5″ Sonic The Hedgehog thing positioning pictures.

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Well you and a few more  scattered about such areas as South Wales and Edmonton, North London who have a nearby shop called “Home Bargains”.  But why on earth should you be so excited and need to get out of bed before Midday?

Because of this!  A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG MONEY BANK WITH MILK CHOCOLATE COINS as stated by the packaging.  Sonic helps you plan for the bleak financial future ahead by allowing you to push your meagre unemployment benefit through the top of his head, coin by coin.  All for only £1.99, in-store presumably.

Are you one of The Lucky Ones?  Check the image above to see if you’re in a “Sonic Money Bank Catchment Area.”  Original deal HERE posted by someone from The West Midlands who likes UHT milk.

Sent in by serial Deal-Sniffer-Outer GigerPunk.

** SPECIAL EDITION MAKING-OF THIS UPDATE DOCUMENTARY **

Behind the scenes Making-Of This Update email thread between reader GigerPunk and the Update Team from NOTUKR.  See for yourself the magic and mystery involved.

GigerPunk:
Well, that’s Christmas sorted
http://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/sonic-hedgehog-ceramic-money-bank-chocolate-coins-1-99-store-home-bargains-1077000

Update Team:
That’s the Monday Update sorted then, large concentration of stores in the Midlands and the North.  Must be a joke in there somewhere.  Or rather the Update headline sorted.  Ta.

GigerPunk:
Well, I’ve got one coming to me for Christmas from the wife.  If you didn’t manage to find it, it’s a green eyed thing and he has gold (chocolate) coins, rather than rings. Mario’s bloody influence AGAIN, no doubt.

 End of Special Edition Making-Of Update, it’ll also be on the Christmas DVD.

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