Really getting through the backlog now.  This link comes from one of the many Men Called James who occasionally send SEGA things through the post.  Full specifications including price and the images in the original order HERE.

There seems to be a bit of pink in her left hand,  wonder if it’s a bit of knicker.  It really should be a bit of knicker.  That’s definitely a bit of knicker, pink knicker as well.

“Now, take your vest off and we can play my Mega Drive.  You know I can’t play Thunder Force 3 when you have your vest on.  Fold it neatly as well for tomorrow days, I’m not putting it through the wash again as the lettering will start to peel.”

** SPECIAL EDITION EXTRA UPDATE FOR THE PINK BIT ***

Here’s that aforementioned pink bit enlarged if you’d like to investigate further.

Forgot to mention the placement of the little finger, extra points awarded.

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ON THE SPOT REAL LIFE UPDATE: A Sonic The Hedgehog bag in a shop in London around the Covent Garden area.  The shop was rather nice, it had nice things in it.  Sweets, bags and other assorted nice objects.

The people inside were nice and the shop assistants were nice, apart from the girl who stood just inside the door for ages and blocked the route inside.  You know who you are, you cunt.

Forms part of the “An Update A Month” series, hopefully there’ll be another Update next month.  Probably featuring clothing or a game.  Let’s have a game next month, that’ll be nice for everyone.

Unless it’s August next month, that’s holiday month.

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Also, trying to look up Japanese girls’ skirts in merchandising images . Haven’t done that for a while, it’s probably illegal to ponder too long on their wanton sexualised thighs now.

“No Mum, I’m not spending all of my student loan on SEGA things. I HATE YOU. YOU NEED TO SEND ME MONEY SO I’LL STOP HATING YOU. I HATE YOU.”

A SEGA Facebook page to “like” is HERE, with no mention on the backpack specifications. Litre size, pocket numbers, rain proofing TBA.

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You don’t have to answer, it’s not a quiz because the bag dimensions are represented without any accompanying measurement reference so you’d only be guessing.  Insert Coin Tees & NOTUKR relationship status updated to “cordial.”

ONE MORE IMAGE OF THE FEMALE HERE (WITHOUT HEAD).  Plus details of the bag should you wish to invest £35 in the undoubted circus of attention you’ll generate with one of these swinging on your effeminate shoulder.  Don’t hold it under you arm either, we can see you.

Regarding the Female: Few moles on the face but she’s wearing a Dr Robotnik t-shirt and has well defined eyebrows so overall gets 7/10.

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Upon Internet investigation it turns out this Nights Into Dreams LCD game was released in 1997 and has been extensively reviewed by every existing SEGA blog.  Yesterday Lara Croft panties, today this.  Tuesday is obviously going to be a really shit day.

The eBay auction ended a while ago, sorry about that.  Also noted is the classic camera flash error when taking photographs of things in plastic so 2/10 overall.

Sent in by GigerPunk, who might still visit every so often.

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It’s been a while, catching up on a few things so you’ll have to be patient for a while.  It’ll take a couple of weeks to clear the back log, holidays are both a curse and a curse.  So, there must have been some SEGA merchandise news lately?

Getting back into the swing of things is so muc…..OH MY FUCKING GOD FUCKING POUR FUCKING PETROL ON IT AND BURN IT NOW.  Don’t tip the can up fully, you need to tilt it slightly to let the air in otherwise it won’t come out quick enough.

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If Stephen Dodd were a real King and wielded his Sonic The Hedgehog pod toys, imagine all the sex he could have with buxom yet mentally slow market town girls.  Bet it would be loads!!!

“Dear NOTUKRESISTANCE,

“Thanks for all the work you have done on making and preserving the website. The updates are very humorous and entertaining. In my local shopping center I noticed some ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ pod toys on sale in a machine.”

“Have you noticed the mass of ‘Sonic’ merchandise available on the market lately?  Anyway there are two different types of toys available, an ‘All Stars Racing’ one and a ‘Head danglers’ one. I obtained a ‘Super Sonic’ head dangler! Isn’t that cool?”

“I have inserted the images into this email. I hope they will be of interest to you.  Yours,  Stephen Dodd AKA King of Oldbury”

TO OLDBURY!

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“THAT NEW COFFEE IS NICE WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM SINCE WE HAVEN’T HAD A VIDEO GAMES NIGHT IN AGES CAN YOU GET THE MEGA DRIVE OUT OF THE GARAGE AND SEE IF IT WORKS WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND THE RF CABLE IT WAS THERE THE LAST TIME WELL LOOK FOR IT THEN HAVE YOU TRIED THE BOX WITH THE MASTER SYSTEM IN IT IT’S NEXT TO THE BROKEN SATURN WITH ALL THE CONTROL PADS YOU FOUND IT THAT’S GOOD BUT I THINK THE END OF THE POWER ADAPTER PERISHED AGES AGO…

…BUT IF YOU LOOK ON THE BOTTOM SHELF THERE’S A SPARE GAME GEAR ADAPTER THAT’LL WORK JUST FINE HAVE YOU PUT ANY MORE OF THAT 9-BIT MEGA COFFEE AVAILABLE FROM FIREBOX.COM ON I SAID ONE MORE CUP BECAUSE I WANT TO PLAY MICKEY MOUSE CASTLE OF ILLUSION FOR A BIT AND THEN MAYBE ESWAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE LEVEL SELECT CODE FOR SONIC IS AGAIN WHERE IS THAT CUP OF 9-BIT MEGA COFFEE I SAID I WANTED ANOTHER CUP OF THAT COFFEE EMAIL SENT IN BY GIGERPUNK WHO GIGERPUNK GIGERPUNK IF YOU SAY IT ENOUGH TIMES IT STARTS TO SOUND STRANGE I SAID NO MILK WHEN DO I EVER HAVE MILK I ONLY HAD MILK ONCE IN 1993 I DIDN’T LIKE IT”

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C’est manifique!  Which is probably French for “Fuck me!  This magnificent collection of seven photographs sent in from France at a horizontal and vertical resolution of 180 dpi are great!”  Reader Masque de mort probably broke all sorts of cross-border regulations in sending these in, but in times of war and conflict help must come from all nations.

“Hi everyone, biggest notukresistance French fan ever here (formerly known as “biggest ukresistance French fan ever”),”

“I thought I had to share these powerful metaphors with like-minded people like you. Short story : sales season, videogames store, unwanted toys, very low price.”

“Miss Masque de mort wasn’t as happy with my findings, with reactions like (I quote) “What, another one of these pieces of crap ?”. But anyway, she hasn’t entered the GameRoom for years now -she could not possibly understand.”


“I hope you find these meaningful photographs, full of hidden messages about the career evolution of a certain once-beloved mascot, useful to your great blog.”

“Yours faithfully, Masque de mort. Soldier for Sega since 1987”

Whichever regional territory Game is in, it can always be counted on to discount the wrong Video Game thing.  Having the descriptive words back to front doesn’t really help much either.

The greatest photograph of all time.  Better than 1,543 photographs of various OutRun2/OutRun2 SP arcade cabinets in full working order.  Even better than all the Tara Long photographs put together into one large masturbatory collage.  Masque de mort is awarded 3 pallets of A4 paper covered with those NOTUKR Reader Submission Reward Gold Ring sticker things we can’t get rid of.

Coming Soon:  That picture above in a variety of downloadable desktop background sizes.

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Someone in the immediate family knows about the whole Sonic The Hedgehog/SEGA liking thing, they must know.  It’s the only plausible explanation for receiving a 5″ Sonic The Hedgehog official “collectable” from the Sonic Merchandise shop as a Christmas present.

At first Sonic was placed into this stance for roughly 3 days.  Wasn’t entirely happy with this default positioning but these things can’t be rushed, especially with such a large array of joints to move about.

“He” is now currently in this position, it could have been any position but this is the most pleasing at the moment.

Coming soon:  More 5″ Sonic The Hedgehog thing positioning pictures.

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