In a SEGA Arcade in Osaka earning a bit of money.  Sing for us Mr Daytona USA and SEGA Rally man, PERFORM SEGA SONGS FOR YOUR DINNER.  Sing mostly in tune and you might even get enough for pudding too.

SEGA music composer Takenobu Mitsuyoshi “spotted in the wild!  Actually, in a SEGA Arcade in Osaka” by NOTUKR Japan correspondent James.

All the arcades need wiping down at the end of the night as well, plus all the ashtrays need emptying and chewing gum scraped off the floor.  A music tour isn’t all about sex with underage girls/boys and piles of drugs.

As long as we know he’s safe and happily singing in SEGA arcades then we’re all good.  Really lucky we’re not looking at some grim police photos from a bedsit suicide instead.

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Pretty sure that’s how to describe Ludovico Einaudi’s music, isn’t it?  Not to get too personal but his music is quite emotive, made the whole office cry when we watched This Is England and that piano tune came on when the little boy throws his flag in the sea.  Tech Support Hannah even ran out of hankies.

“Morning Captain…[alt+tab]…Whoops,

I was at Trafalgar Square last Sunday for this BT River of Music festival thingy(I went for the free sunlight, the free music was a nice bonus. I jest, of course! I went for Einaudi and the free sunlight was a bonus). As if seeing Einaudi live wasn’t enough, one of his guys started playing a tambourine thing and I noticed the Mighty Swirl of Dreamcast in the centre of said tambourine thing.

I hunted for my phone to take a photo but figured it’d pop up on the internet soon enough.

And it did.  Enjoy!

– Bilal”

Bilal earns 50 NOTUKR Gold Rings for his find, which unfortunately has been significantly devalued of late.  Blame the money markets.

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Now this is the sort of stuff that makes remembering the WordPress password a thing of joy. He’s playing Streets of Rage 2 drums in a Sonic hat. And he’s loving every second of it, the video is a simple byproduct of his sheer joy.

He is elevated to status of “Legend” and given a few virgins to do with as he pleases. Male and/or Female, whatever his persuasion.

Now do the right thing and offer yourselves up, don’t be shy.

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If Stephen Dodd were a real King and wielded his Sonic The Hedgehog pod toys, imagine all the sex he could have with buxom yet mentally slow market town girls.  Bet it would be loads!!!

“Dear NOTUKRESISTANCE,

“Thanks for all the work you have done on making and preserving the website. The updates are very humorous and entertaining. In my local shopping center I noticed some ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ pod toys on sale in a machine.”

“Have you noticed the mass of ‘Sonic’ merchandise available on the market lately?  Anyway there are two different types of toys available, an ‘All Stars Racing’ one and a ‘Head danglers’ one. I obtained a ‘Super Sonic’ head dangler! Isn’t that cool?”

“I have inserted the images into this email. I hope they will be of interest to you.  Yours,  Stephen Dodd AKA King of Oldbury”

TO OLDBURY!

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Poor things eking out a living in a cruel, intolerant world.  A lonely and unloved existence surrounded by the deafening roar of an uncaring and ignorant society.  Reader Simon spotted this cowering little creature whilst off on some unspecified journey.

 “Hello Notukresistance,  I spotted this well wicked OutRun 2 arcade machine while waiting for a taxi to show up at Heathrow Airport Terminal 3.  It looked very sad and neglected.  I shooed 2 children away who were tugging at the steering wheels.”

“My girlfriend didn’t let me have a go, anyway I’m not great at racing games anyway.  I hope this helps you with your Sega fetish.  Goodbye for ever.  Simon.”

Airports are full of 2 types of people, those running away from utter misery or those returning to utter misery.  You could just live there, in the Airport.  Playing OutRun2, forever.

Extra NOTUKRESISTANCE Gold Reward Rings were available for shots of the serial number, bad luck Simon.  But thanks anyway!  You are now FRIEND.

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THIS SHIT is how to start a bleak Tuesday after a rainy Bank Holiday.  These pictures are the result of a deal between NOTUKR and rock band The Waxing Captors.  “Put our music video on your site and I’ll give you Sonic Shoes pictures” they said.  Less of a deal, more like a strange Man promising puppies to a small child.

“Please find attached shoes – Note that by ‘found some Sonic shoes in Vietnam’ I meant ‘Had some Sonic shoes tailor made in Vietnam, went to the trouble of drawing my own design instead of visiting some museum with the girlfriend,

 

repeatedly went back to check on progress of said shoes instead of absorbing culture, had a mild disagreement with the tired, overworked staff about the quality of knuckles and had them re-stitch but am now happy with the finished product’.”

“There’s also a shot of a communist billboard, for scene setting purposes.”

“Yes, I did have my name sewn into them in SEGAesque font.  Go East people, you can still live it up like a colonial land baron.  All the best, James.  The Waxing Captors”

“Mild disagreement”?   Which perhaps resulted in CIGARETTE BURNS ON ARMS AND FACES?!  Still, if you’re not going to get the stitching right then you should expect some retribution and a sore eye for a few weeks.  Westerners are sticklers for a job well done.

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Yet another tempting opportunity to mentally travel back in time to a slightly better era than today.  AND THEN STAY THERE.

“Hello again from Italy Sega friend!
You probably remember me, last December i sent to you my Dreamcast HD tribute and since you seemed to enjoyed it i thought it was a great idea to send you this Shenmue HD tribute.  Hope you’ll enjoy this, just sit back, take a deep breath and be ready to party like it’s 1999 ;)”

“All we have to do now is wait for an official release date for our beloved Shenmue in HD.  Keep up the good work mate, i really enjoy your website.  Take care.  Massimo Crulli.”

He really enjoys the website, did you read that bit?  Should have put that bit in bold.  And he said mate, should have made that word bold and a larger font.  That means we can go round his house for tea anytime we like.

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We’re not very hip but hopefully not too square, possibly something in the middle like a nice oblong.  And why are we oblong?  Because a band who makes music and possibly plays their own instruments sent in a link to their SEGA inspired music video.

“Dear Captain Whoops,  Our new music video features a 10 second homage/rip off of the flying boss ‘babyface’ from Treasure’s seminal Dynamite Headdy.  Here’s the original:

“Here’s ours (about 44 seconds in):”

“We realise that the original possesses more character and has better music, but I thought it was worth a punt, we tried anyway.  Maybe if you get a rainy day and there’s not a lot else to post. I’ve got a picture of some Sonic shoes I found in Vietnam, I’ll send that too if you put the video up, we’ll do a deal.  Thanks for your time!

James
The Waxing Captors”

NOW WHERE IS THAT SONIC SHOES FROM VIETNAM IMAGE?!  Bet you’ve got loads of Sonic shoe pictures from all over the world, snapped “on tour.”  Plus girls you’ve had full sexual penetration with too.  Or boys, it could be boys AND girls.  We’re very aware these days.

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So says the subject line of the incoming email with requested attached images.  But yes, we do want to please “sex woman” in whatever way feels comfortable and doesn’t involve too much talking or skillful physical stimulation.

“Oh hi there, Captain Whoops.  I didn’t notice me come in.  Here are the pictures of the upright Daytona USA cabinet, as promised.  Taken in Cork airport 2 weeks ago, I managed to not attract the attention of security by causing a diversionary fire in another part of the building.”

“There were actually two Daytona USA machines, the other a single player sit-down.  Unfortunately, it had no serial number and as I approached it first, I hadn’t yet summoned the courage to take a picture of it (I was literally off the plane just 4 minutes, which as you know if the most vulnerable period in any man’s life).”

“After touring the building, seeing the upright and ‘going’ for it, on my second pass there were children pretending to play the sit-down cab and I decided to abandon it in favour of not being tagged a PAEDO with a SICK interest in taking SNAPS of arcade CABS.”

“Pictures are in jpg as that is all my camera takes, meaning even ultra fine pictures are still on the ‘Shite’ scale.  That’s all there is to that.  I just pray your use of the serial number isn’t anything to do with the international white slavery/prostitution trade.  I’ve got enough on my plate at the moment.  Yours faithfully, Dick Socrates.”

Images 1 and 2 are for the SEGA Arcade Cabinet Serial Numbers wall in the office, you won’t appreciate them so you can have image 3.  That’s the image the world can have.

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Well, official in that every so often if they happen across something SEGA-like in Japan they may take some photographs and after about 3 weeks remember to “report in.”  On this occasional you may also think we’re having a laugh upon unveiling Japan James, another Man called James who sends in SEGA things.

“Dear Things,  Now, living in Japan you would expect to see a lot of dreamcast symbols.  I mean, for instance just use googlefu for なると.  However, on the morning commute to work, reading on my VMU like phone, about how the Vita sales were at an all time low, this particular image stood out.”

“Maybe it was the combination of swirls and alcohol (calorie free beer by the looks of it).  Maybe I thought they were having a good time that made me think back on those DC times.  Fact is, I took a picture, actually I took 3 and the commuters were probably looking at me more funny than usual.”

“They are baby swirls but whatever ^_^  Kind regards,  James.”

For including some Japanese writing, mention of a Dreamcast VMU and also one of those emoticon smiley face things that’s a bit Japanese, Japan James earns himself roughly 11 feet of A4 paper printouts of NOTUKRESISTANCE Special Ring Reward Points.

Plus the love and adulation of millions of Dreamcast Swirl fans.

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