Logos!  Alan Titchmarsh! SEGA!  Sex Toys!  Oiled Men!  All in one place in the actual real world.

“HI Not UKR,
My housemate told me of a video with vibrators and alan Titshmarch which naturally I wanted to see. Although disappointed that Alan didnt road test any dildos himself I did notice that the logo “The Future of SEX” looked a bit familiar in that the S and E are clearly the first two letters from a Sega sign that has been stolen from an abandoned Sega world and resprayed. The X is likely stolen from a large 32x advert or the result of someone breaking an “A” and then glueing it back together wrong.”

“I always wanted to appear in UKR but despite submitting about 8,000 pictures of dreamcast logos in real life  Mr. Cutlack never saw fit to acknowledge my cyber ramblings,. so please fix it for me for this update to appear on NOT UKR so that I may get all the internet fame and groupies that come with such fame.  Regards,  Rolan.”Original video HERE.  Rolan says ” The logo first appears around 1 minute 25 seconds in.”

Groupies have been posted to you Rolan, look out for a few packages in the coming days.  Assembly required.

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In a SEGA Arcade in Osaka earning a bit of money.  Sing for us Mr Daytona USA and SEGA Rally man, PERFORM SEGA SONGS FOR YOUR DINNER.  Sing mostly in tune and you might even get enough for pudding too.

SEGA music composer Takenobu Mitsuyoshi “spotted in the wild!  Actually, in a SEGA Arcade in Osaka” by NOTUKR Japan correspondent James.

All the arcades need wiping down at the end of the night as well, plus all the ashtrays need emptying and chewing gum scraped off the floor.  A music tour isn’t all about sex with underage girls/boys and piles of drugs.

As long as we know he’s safe and happily singing in SEGA arcades then we’re all good.  Really lucky we’re not looking at some grim police photos from a bedsit suicide instead.

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Sonic The Hedgehog isn’t for us anymore, he’s to inspire young girls with access to basic video recording equipment to film “make-up tutorial” videos.  This one from Youtube user KittyPoppz is both informative and easy to follow, although she’s feeling a bit under the weather.

GET BETTER SOON KITTYPOPPZ :-)))) XXXX ^_^

Coming Soon: “I’m not even sure… Sorry I’m not 100% peppy or something.”

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Where can you go to find out who within SEGA Amusements has recently become married, or who is the best Approaching Middle Aged Russian Supplier Woman?  What about their latest exciting frolics to far away and foreign places?

SEGA Amusements Facebook Page is where!  They upload far more interesting photos far more frequently than the SEGA Flickr account people do.  Current favourite SEGA Amusements Female is the one with the curly shoulder length hair.

** SOME OTHER THINGS **

Things that have been found or emailed in that are going on out there in the real world, right now.


ACTUAL GAME NEWS

The SEGA Genesis Classics Pack 5 has been released on PC this week, you can download it from Steam HERE for £5.50.  But don’t think you can get your Xbox 360 Hori joystick to work with it because you can’t.

Unless there’s some clever thing out there to help, or we’re just awful at getting things to work properly.


THE SEGA TOILET GAME IS AVAILABLE FOR HOME PURCHASE

The ever-growing army of men OVER THERE reported on this a few days ago.  It’s a real contraption you can buy and put in your own home, which is fantastic news if you can easily afford to spend over $1000 on a toilet accessory and want to.

When what you really need is a new toilet seat because the wooden one you’ve got at the moment is far too urine stained.  Look, it’s got those areas underneath that look a bit green.


A NEW GAME WITH ULALA IN IT

So what’s all this about then?  What does she do in it?  Has this already been released and not done very well and now everyone is saying how under-rated it was?  Off to Google…

SOME OTHER THINGS done now, now go and have that third cup of tea you’ve been promising yourself for the last half an hour.

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Reader Tim has surpassed all Inbox expectations at this time of year with 3 magnificent images of a Woman carrying a SEGA bag.  A SEGA bag probably filled with all sorts of terrifying Female accessories used inside, on and around the body.

“Hello Notukresistance,  in the summer I went to London Zoo and had a lovely time watching the animals pace up and down their tiny cages.  After all this excitement I went to London’s Tottenham Court Road to attempt to purchase a very cheap Nintendo 3DS, my thinking was that it should be about £50 by then.”

“But it wasn’t and I didn’t end up buying one.  However I did spy these people with a Sonic bag and a cheap looking Sonic hat.  I took some photos and then forgot I’d taken them.”

“So here they are after I cleared out my memory card and sortied through a load of photos, I don’t want these images any more so you can have them.  Bye bye, Tim.”

For sending in images of a SEGA bag being used in the Real World by a Woman with some rather pleasant legs Tim is awarded 125 NOTUKRESISTANCE Reader Submission Gold Rings, or 125 of whatever it is we’re giving away.

** SPECIAL WOMAN WITH SEGA BAG READER SUBMISSION COMPETITION **

Send in your erotic fiction about “those” legs and the SEGA bag.  Entries must be no longer than 250 words and need to include the words “penis”, “semen”, “rub”, “struggled” and the phrases “creamy thigh” and “damp socks.”  Email in if you really want to or just leave it in the comments section.

To get you going, here’s the interesting part of the image you should be concentrating on.

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Who on earth is authorising all these latest marketing/community follies over at SEGA headquarters?!  First a playground for slow children to knock themselves unconscious in and now this large Sonic balloon appearing at “Thanksgiving.”  Helping Americans celebrate getting above themselves and “surviving” shouldn’t be one of Sonic’s responsibilities.

It looks very nice.  Very glossy with detailing and everything but it can’t hold a candle to the UK hot air balloon CLASSIC.  Also, who’s paying for all those people?  What internal business cost centre(s) are they being charged under?  Are they volunteers?  Is this too many questions for a Friday morning?  Probably.

At Some Point In The Future: Actual public deployment footage hopefully featuring live action scenes of a flammable nature.  And screaming, lots of screaming.

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It could be a return to the bad old days of SEGA Worlds everywhere closing or it could be the GOOD CURRENT DAYS of one that’s still open.  This is a proper investigative Update and not just an excuse to post 2 “Sonic 20th Anniversary” Twitpic images that appeared a few days ago.  How dare you even suggest that’s all the material we need to clutter up your precious network.

The EXIF data is of limited help as the pictures were taken with a Panasonic DMC-FX66 which doesn’t have any Geotagging functionality, unless partnered with an Eye-Fi card.

It’s incredibly difficult doing all this with a seriously stunted attention span and caffeine jitters but the hunt is now very much on.

** THE HUNT FOR THE OMORI SEGA WORLD **

Armed to the teeth with various fizzy energy drinks should we end up pulling an all-nighter.

FOUND IT!  And it looks to be very much open for business judging by yet another exotic SEGA url we’re not familiar with HERE.

HERE it is on Google Maps if you’re at all interested, but in all seriousness this Update is for our reference really.

Well wasn’t that all so very exciting, so exciting in fact that we’ll just stay up all night now finding all the other SEGA Worlds in Japan on Google Street View.

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When we asked for some photos a while ago we never thought that Yuji Naka himself would contribute. In an email he definitely did not send, Yuji wrote:

“Hey NotUKR, thought you might like to embed my Summer Of Sonic Twitpic photos.  All the best, Yuji”.

It’s an auspicious start as there’s nothing quite like the magical view of the SEGA Europe HQ from the M4 on an overcast day to lift the spirits.

Using the legitimate “Put this photo on your website” feature, here’s Summer Of Sonic 2011.

 

“Get me on that 21:40 flight”.

“Yes, Mr Naka”.

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The SEGA logo and the World-Brightening smile of Tara Long.  At the same time.  Together.  In the same place.  This has topped up the “usable” gallery quite nicely.  Tara spoke about the despicable attack on SEGA because Tara cares for SEGA, probably more so than us.

Everything is all warm and fuzzy as long as Tara Long is on the telly, doesn’t matter that it’s Internet telly.

Tara Long is now being sandwiched between two SEGA things, the SEGA logo and that Mega Drive joypad.  Tara has deliberately put herself between two SEGA things, THE COCK TEASE.

We could definitely use this as a new banner or something, might need to get some image editing software that can actually cope with resizing.  Everyone, this image probably falls under the “Creative Commons” licence, you don’t even need to mention us if you use it.

Tara Long still hasn’t sent back our interview questions, beginning to think asking “What Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?” wasn’t an appropriate question.

It NEEDED to be asked though.

*sigh*

Tomorrow: New SEGA hardware!

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Here are some images from the SEGA Sonic Boom event last night at Club Nokia, Los Angeles.  Here’s where all the Sonic fun happened and where Tara Long was, probably.

See that alleyway?  That’s where Club Nokia is, in a shopping centre.

It’s seeing images like the following that induces mixed feelings of longing, loneliness and agoraphobia.

It really doesn’t get much better than this.  If we went to E3 we would go here in full Sonic costume, the costume that gathers up a little too much around the crotch.

But our drunkenness levels would have to be so very high to even begin to feel comfortable.

.

8 Bucks!  We could sneak in a pre-mixed bottle of cheap Vodka in the Sonic costume.  We’d then try and sneak some in to a Booth Babe’s drink but they probably have this.

Before all the excitement of Sonic Boom, we had a lovely walk around SEGA’s E3 booth and caught up with an old friend.

Look! Here he is!  Sonic was just around the corner.  1991! What have we been doing for the last 20 years?

Please…don’t do this.  We pestered our parents for months before we got a SEGA CD for Christmas.  MONTHS AND MONTHS AND MONTHS, ALL DAY AND EVERYDAY.

That’s SEGA All-Stars Racing on iPad.  Bouncing aimlessly from wall to obstacle and back again is obviously what’s called fun these days.

** BOOTH BABE UPDATE **

The contractor girls have been staring at Flickr Booth Babe pictures for almost the entire week and we think one of them is starting to “turn”.  Keeps looking at the other two like a man would a juicy steak.

Our other E3 “homie” in the field richcz3 has been going great guns with his images.

Points deducted due to black boob tubes under white shirts instead of bras.  The “school girl lesbian” thing keeps it a respectable score though.

7/10

Having your arms around each other instantly ups the points, as does having the same hair colour.  Left is deducted points due to the zip being too high.

6/10

On searching for Nyko on Google to verify which assorted awful accessories they may be peddling at E3, we discovered they still support the Dreamcast!

The eyes are said to be the windows to the soul, and these windows look into a bleak and cold existence.  You need to use your imagination with this one which significantly lowers the score.

4/10

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