Logos!  Alan Titchmarsh! SEGA!  Sex Toys!  Oiled Men!  All in one place in the actual real world.

“HI Not UKR,
My housemate told me of a video with vibrators and alan Titshmarch which naturally I wanted to see. Although disappointed that Alan didnt road test any dildos himself I did notice that the logo “The Future of SEX” looked a bit familiar in that the S and E are clearly the first two letters from a Sega sign that has been stolen from an abandoned Sega world and resprayed. The X is likely stolen from a large 32x advert or the result of someone breaking an “A” and then glueing it back together wrong.”

“I always wanted to appear in UKR but despite submitting about 8,000 pictures of dreamcast logos in real life  Mr. Cutlack never saw fit to acknowledge my cyber ramblings,. so please fix it for me for this update to appear on NOT UKR so that I may get all the internet fame and groupies that come with such fame.  Regards,  Rolan.”Original video HERE.  Rolan says ” The logo first appears around 1 minute 25 seconds in.”

Groupies have been posted to you Rolan, look out for a few packages in the coming days.  Assembly required.

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It’s Old Sonic too, poor Old Sonic.  If if were New Sonic then we’d probably enjoy it if the t-shirt were later used to mop up the inevitable cascade of sick/urine/semen/poo.

It looks like a decent “design” too, might even have considered buying one.  But now, not so much.  Not now it’s been featured in a place where the number one tourist activity is female fingering, probably.

Sent in by GigerPunk, oooooooh ages ago, who stated it was on a TV program called “English Shitbags Abroad In Kavos ” or something like that.

Does anyone know who is selling these t-shirts?  *sigh*

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Castle of Illusion. Up there with the greats. The “clonk” of Mickey’s head on a ceiling, the edge balance animation, the innocent sway whilst waiting for your input.


Coming Soon: Quick time events to dodge the chasing boulder.

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But it’s not like we’re that interested in keeping up to date, you only have to look at the recent eBay search history to know that.

“Dear notukresistance,

You may rember me from my last email about the Sonic pod toys, it is me the KING OF OLDBURY we an interesting photo I will leave you to devour yourself.

As always, thanks for creating the website and the update. I enjoy the humour and love reading your posts.



“P.S I found the image before this foolish website so don’t worry about stealing their ideas.”

There is no humour here.

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EXCLUSIVE REVEAL: Something you put over your eyes to change reality. You can immerse yourself in some kind of virtual world where events and consequences appear real.

“Load Program: [Grotesque Frag Doll Chase Sequence Number 143] Eventual Capture Mode=1, Begging Mode=1, Texture Resolution=High”

Plus you could probably touch up Violet Berlin, as she is today, if you wanted to. Someone will have a preset on a forum somewhere.

Maybe even a low textured Andy Crane.

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Also, trying to look up Japanese girls’ skirts in merchandising images . Haven’t done that for a while, it’s probably illegal to ponder too long on their wanton sexualised thighs now.

“No Mum, I’m not spending all of my student loan on SEGA things. I HATE YOU. YOU NEED TO SEND ME MONEY SO I’LL STOP HATING YOU. I HATE YOU.”

A SEGA Facebook page to “like” is HERE, with no mention on the backpack specifications. Litre size, pocket numbers, rain proofing TBA.

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Maybe we’ll give Sony a go this time and buy a PlayStation 4, let bygones be bygones.  Bury the hatched and all that.  Look to the future etc.

No, sorry but we’re OUT.  Nice shoes though, brown.

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Looks like about £20-ish. They might be able to keep the cost down even further if they just stick it in a plastic bubble pack. Hopefully it’ll come with Sonic The Hedgehog and Columns built in.

It’s got a loudspeaker, that’s nice.

Coming Soon: LIES

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Fancy in that we had to look them up in a dictionary.  Edge don’t just use words like “narrative” and “narrative” all the time, they also use “narrative” and very intelligent words to describe Video Games.

Or we could be exposing massive educational problems and ignorance.  People are probably walking around saying and writing these words all the time and having fun doing so!

Maybe an evening course in words might be in order?  That’s where it’s all been going wrong, not being able to write/speak fancy and all that.

It might then be possible to construct sentences like “Virtua Fighter 2 is simply palimpsest in its dialectical adipose” without having to think about it too much.  Life would be 0.073% better.

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In a SEGA Arcade in Osaka earning a bit of money.  Sing for us Mr Daytona USA and SEGA Rally man, PERFORM SEGA SONGS FOR YOUR DINNER.  Sing mostly in tune and you might even get enough for pudding too.

SEGA music composer Takenobu Mitsuyoshi “spotted in the wild!  Actually, in a SEGA Arcade in Osaka” by NOTUKR Japan correspondent James.

All the arcades need wiping down at the end of the night as well, plus all the ashtrays need emptying and chewing gum scraped off the floor.  A music tour isn’t all about sex with underage girls/boys and piles of drugs.

As long as we know he’s safe and happily singing in SEGA arcades then we’re all good.  Really lucky we’re not looking at some grim police photos from a bedsit suicide instead.

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